The hottest prophet in the history of the world gives you more winners. Don’t question him.
Charles Barkley, who has no connection with Hlastradamus. (Jessica Hill/Associated Press)
Week after week. College football built them up and Hlastradamus crushed them.
Last week the Prophet again told you succinctly what to do about Iowa and the State of Iowa. When you’ve made it, you’re silently grateful. Because you certainly haven’t attempted to contact the seer to praise him, let alone tip him.
How about a little something for the effort at some point?
The seer got the last four Iowa games right, the failure to cover a large number at Ohio State, the cover against Northwestern, the cover against Purdue, the cover against Wisconsin. Here comes number 5.
Iowa +2.5 in Minnesota
The Gophers are favorites against Iowa. This isn’t an annual deal. The Gophers’ win over the Hawkeyes has not been an annual contract since 2014.
The gophers cannot throw. You saw what happened last week when Wisconsin’s less-balanced offense tried to move the ball on Iowa. It didn’t last.
Minnesota pushed Iowa into last year’s Big Ten title game when they defeated Wisconsin on the last day of the season. It will push the Hawkeyes back towards Indianapolis on Saturday by not pushing around Iowa’s defense.
Hlastradamus has ridden the Hawkeyes hard for the past three weeks, and they’ve gotten him to the box office every time. Now is not the time to get off your horse.
State of Iowa -3.5 against Texas Tech
The Cyclones have conceded 60 fewer points than each of the other nine teams in Big 12 play. You are in last place. That would be an impossibility if it were not a fact.
On a Saturday night on the frigid prairie, Texas Tech will wonder what life is all about. Is that what the Red Raiders signed up for to play a night game in Iowa on November 19th in ccc-collllllld weather you never see in Lubbock let alone Gunter, Katy, Bushland or Humble?
Great teams overcome mental obstacles like fear of frostbite. Mediocre ones can’t wait to get on the bus to the plane home and hide under a pile of blankets. Texas Tech, vying to land in an Armed Forces or Guaranteed Rate bowl, may subconsciously want to avoid such tripe.
Other tips Hlastradamus recommends:
Michigan -18 vs. Illinois
Purdue -18.5 vs. Northwest
Nebraska +12.5 vs. Wisconsin
And… World Cup opening games:
England -280 against Iran
England had Beckham. The guy could bend it.
Did Iran have a Beckham? Hlastradamus thinks no.
US +160 against Wales.
Wales? Its population is 3 million. The US is 331 million. That should mean the Americans are 110 times better, and they only need to be one goal better.